My Mate says..."Cats Can See Ghosts"

Turns out Whiskers isn’t haunted, he’s just disappointed in your life choices

You’re halfway through your pint, Dave’s on one again, and out of nowhere he hits you with this gem:

“Cats can see ghosts, mate. That’s why they stare at walls.”

Classic Dave. This is the same man who once microwaved a Pot Noodle with the fork still in it and called it a “science experiment.” But still, you laugh, sip your pint... and then spend the next three nights side-eyeing your cat every time he glares at the skirting board like it owes him money.

Whiskers, to be fair, has always been a bit weird. He’ll sit motionless for twenty minutes, eyes locked on a blank wall like it’s got spoilers for next week’s Coronation Street. Sometimes he bolts across the flat like he’s just remembered he left the gas on. And at 3am, like clockwork, he screams into the void like a banshee who just stubbed her toe.

So, ghosts then?

Well, I Googled it. Because I’m a responsible adult with a mild fear of being dragged into the netherworld while wearing my Greggs pyjamas.

Turns out, according to actual science (and not Dave), cats aren’t watching ghosts, they’re just... sensitive. Their hearing picks up things we can’t: mice in the walls, pipes rattling, the crushing sound of your self-esteem after texting your ex “u up?”. Sometimes it’s just dust. Sometimes it’s boredom.

And sometimes, just maybe, it’s Whiskers silently judging you for buying reduced sushi from a petrol station again.

He sees your soul and he’s unimpressed

Look, maybe your cat isn’t haunted. Maybe you are. Haunted by the ghost of your 2016 self, full of ambition, decent abs, and hope. Now you’re in joggers that double as pyjamas, explaining to your cat why you spent £45 on niche hot sauces you’ll never use.

That blank wall? It's not full of ghosts. It’s a mirror to your poor decisions. And Whiskers, bless him, is just there to witness it.

But here’s the good news

Despite all that, the chaos, the questionable takeaways, the minor identity crisis you call a weekend, your cat’s still here. Still hanging out. Still acting like a furry little therapist who charges in judgement instead of pounds.

He may not see ghosts, but he does see you. And while you might not always love what that means, it’s weirdly comforting, isn’t it?

So next time your mate down the pub starts going off about cats being psychic, just nod, smile, and order another round. Because maybe life’s more fun when you don’t need all the answers.

And Whiskers? He’s not battling spirits. He’s just deeply concerned that you still wear socks with holes in them.

Cheers to our feline flatmates, the only creatures who can make you feel haunted and loved at the same time.

Now, who’s buying the crisps?