You know how it goes. You're three pints deep, it's quiz night at The Dog & Duck, and your mate Gary, the one who once tried to sell watches out of the boot of his Fiat Punto leans over and says: “Oi. We should start a business. 50/50, yeah?”

Yes, gravy counts. Tea? Definitely. Even beer, technically though if you start counting your pints as part of a health routine, you might be living your best life... or developing gout.

Because here’s the truth no one’s saying loudly enough: AI is brilliant, but it’s not a substitute for a decent team.

Well, I Googled it. Because I’m a responsible adult with a mild fear of being dragged into the netherworld while wearing my Greggs pyjamas.

A hangover is your body’s furious retaliation for letting you be an absolute numpty the night before.

Now, I’ve heard some bollocks in my time, once overheard a lad say you can’t get pregnant if you’re upside down, but this one? This one takes the Hobnob.

We Brits are world-class when it comes to false economy. We’ll spend three hours on hold to customer service to save 47p.