So You Want to Start a Business But Don't Know What the Hell You're Doing

Don't worry, neither did Richard Branson at first.

Let’s be honest.

If you've ever said “I want to start a business,” followed immediately by “but I’ve got no bloody clue what I’m doing,” congratulations — you’re already ahead of 85% of people who pretend they do. The rest are just winging it with confidence, YouTube, and a dangerously high caffeine tolerance.

You’ve probably sat in the pub, looked around at all the muppets making money online, and thought, “If Gary from school can make a living selling beard oil to dogs, surely I can flog something too?”

Yes, you can. But first, let’s clear up a few myths, shall we?

Myth #1: “You need a business plan”

Yeah, and I need abs. Neither is strictly necessary to get started.

Sure, a business plan looks good. It makes you feel professional. You might even get to use phrases like “market penetration” without giggling. But unless you're applying for a bank loan or pitching to an investor with a neck tattoo that says "ROI", your first plan should be:

Sell something. To someone. As fast as possible.

Try things. Fail at them. Learn. Repeat. THEN write your polished plan, when you actually know what you’re doing (spoiler: you still won’t).

Myth #2: “You need to find your passion”

Oh, do piss off.

You don't need to be passionate about logistics software or pest control to run a bloody good business in it. What you do need is a reason to get out of bed that's stronger than the urge to throw your alarm clock into the garden.

Passion is great, but money pays the bills. If you can do both — great. If not, passion can come later when you’re sipping cocktails in Marbella funded by your bin-cleaning empire.

Myth #3: “You need to build a brand first”

Yes — right after you’ve got your first paying customer.

Until then, your brand is: Dave, who does stuff. No one cares about your logo’s shade of lavender if you’ve not even made a tenner yet.

Spend more time figuring out how to solve someone’s problem in exchange for cash, and less time choosing between "Sans Serif Bold Italic" and "Serif Slanty Wanky".

What You Actually Need

1. A problem to solve

Is there something annoying people enough that they’ll hand over money to make it go away? Congratulations — you’ve found your business idea. Extra points if the problem makes them swear.

Examples:

• “I’ve got no time to do [insert chore]”

• “I don’t understand [insert boring thing]”

• “I keep getting screwed by [insert evil industry]”

2. Someone to sell to

Ideally not your mum. She's proud of you regardless. Find actual punters. Real humans who need what you’re offering. And no, shouting into the void of LinkedIn doesn’t count unless it results in money.

3. Grit, graft, and a slightly delusional belief it’ll all work out

That’s it. That’s the magic sauce. Grit. Graft. And a thick skin for when Karen leaves a 1-star review because her mug was slightly chipped even though it survived a trip via Hermes.

The Truth: No One Knows What They're Doing

Seriously. Behind every “serial entrepreneur” is a graveyard of bad ideas, unpaid invoices, and at least one failed dropshipping store.

Everyone’s winging it. Some just wing it louder, in nicer suits, and with better lighting for their YouTube channel.

The only difference between you and the smug git making six figures from motivational T-shirts is that they actually started.

Final Advice from Your Mate Down The Pub

• Start messy. Perfection is a myth peddled by people who’ve never had to Google “how to register a company at 2am.”

• Don’t wait for confidence. Do it scared. Do it unsure. Just bloody do it.

• Talk to people. Preferably sober. They’ll tell you what they actually want. Then sell it to them.

So, you don’t know what the hell you’re doing?

Perfect. That’s the exact place most successful founders started. You’re in excellent, chaotic, underqualified company.

Now go sell something.