“Franchising Practically Runs Itself” – And Other Fairy tales for Grown-Ups

Derek "Seen it All" Pritchard
6 days ago
3 min read

Franchising, mate. It’s the easiest way to scale.

The Myth, Served Warm and Frothy

So there we were, down the pub. Steve leans over his pint, nodding like he’s just discovered the cure for taxes, and goes: “Franchising, mate. It’s the easiest way to scale. No brainer. You basically get other mugs to grow your business for you!”

Cue the nods from Dave, who once ‘nearly’ bought a Subway, and Julie, who still thinks passive income is a thing you just manifest. But as your designated myth-busting mate, I’m here to ruin the buzz with some good old-fashioned reality.

Because while franchising can be brilliant… it’s about as “easy” as a bank holiday trip to IKEA.

Let’s have it.

What’s Franchising, Then?

Franchising is when you let someone else run your business model under your brand. They pay you a fee, follow your playbook, and in theory, everyone gets rich sipping mojitos.

You (the franchisor): own the brand, supply the training, offer support, and collect fees. They (the franchisee): stump up the cash, take the risk, and do the day-to-day graft.

Sounds dreamy, right? Like business on autopilot. Except, spoiler alert – you’re not Elon Musk, and this thing doesn’t self-drive.

The Pint-Sized Positives 🍺

✅ It’s Capital-Light (Sort Of)

You don’t need to fork out for every new location. Franchisees foot the bill. Steve at the bar loves this bit: “Other people’s money, mate!”

✅ Faster Growth Potential

Done right, you can expand like that weird rash after a weekend in Magaluf. More sites, more markets, more buzz.

✅ Motivated Operators

Franchisees have skin in the game. They care about performance more than Barry, your shift manager who still shows up late in his pyjamas.

✅ Recurring Income

Between franchise fees, royalties, and marked-up supplies, you’ve got yourself a tidy revenue model. If McDonald’s can do it, why not your dog grooming empire?

The Warm Flat Pint of Reality 🍺🫣

❌ It’s NOT ‘Easy’ – It’s an Entirely New Business

You’re no longer running [insert whatever niche glory project you started]. You’re now running a franchise business. Think less 'artisan baker', more 'corporate herder of chaos'.

❌ Not All Franchisees Are Born Equal

You’ll get the good ones, the OK ones, and the absolute horror shows who make local headlines for the wrong reasons. You’ll lose sleep over people you’ve never met in towns you’ve never visited.

❌ Your Brand is Now in Other People’s Hands

Remember that time Dave tried to freestyle your customer process because he “had a better way”? Now imagine 30 Daves. With signage.

❌ Legal Hell

Franchise agreements, compliance, operations manuals thicker than Julie’s false lashes... you’ll need lawyers, systems, and probably therapy.

❌ Support Never Stops

Ongoing training, crisis PR, late-night calls about broken ovens – this is not a “set it and forget it” model. Unless you want your empire to resemble a Wetherspoons at closing time.

The Honest Yardstick: Should You Franchise?

If you:

Have a proven, replicable business model
Can create comprehensive systems and manuals
Have enough brand clout to attract franchisees
Enjoy herding cats
Fancy managing a fleet of mini-you’s, some with very different standards

… then franchising could work.

But if you’re still figuring out how to log in to your business bank account or can’t explain your model in less than 20 minutes, hold off. You’re not ready. And that’s fine. Scaling doesn’t always mean franchising. Sometimes it means sorting your sh*t out first.

Alternative Routes to Scale (That Don’t Involve Losing Your Sanity)

Company-Owned Expansion – More control, more risk. Basically like having kids: expensive, exhausting, but at least they don’t try to sue you.
Licensing – A looser model, less control, less fuss.
Partnerships or JVs – Grow with others, share the risk, and pretend to like them at board meetings.
Online or Productised Models – Scale digitally if your business allows it. Fewer humans, fewer headaches.

Final Thoughts from Your Mate Down the Pub

Franchising isn’t a shortcut. It’s a diversion. Sometimes scenic, sometimes full of potholes and angry locals. Don’t do it because Steve read a blog post. Do it because you’ve done the hard graft, got the systems, and genuinely want to build a tribe of franchisees who live and breathe your brand.

Otherwise? Just enjoy your pint, mate – and maybe sort out your website before you build a national empire.

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